Several months ago, I went to a Maverick City Music concert. As I got closer to the entrance I could see someone standing by the door holding a large sign. Before I even got close enough to read the sign, I knew what it was going to say, and I knew that I, a “homosexual,” would be on it. I was right. It was one of those signs that ‘righteous’ Christians hold up that lists all of the people that will not be allowed into heaven. I was right again, the word “homosexuals” was at the top of the list. Also on the list were fornicators, adulterers, and smokers. How smokers got on the list, I don’t even know. I’m pretty sure that’s not in the Bible. Sorry smokers. Anyway, although I am a Christian first and foremost, being a Christian and part of the LGBTQ community, I felt like an outsider.
I’m certain that I have a spot in heaven because of my faith in God, but that doesn’t mean seeing things like that isn’t hurtful. Do people that hold up those signs actually think it’s helpful? Do they really think it’s spreading the love of the God they say they believe in? I often wonder what Jesus would say or do if He saw them standing there telling others who can and cannot enter into Heaven. Maybe He’d call them out for hypocrisy. Maybe He’d offer a clearer statement on what love is and isn’t for their narrow-mindedness. I’d be satisfied with a nice swift God-powered flick to their forehead, but that’s my own human pettiness. Sorry God.
I digress… It was an incredible concert, 10/10 definitely recommend. However, while I stood worshipping with thousands of other believers, a part of me felt like I didn’t belong. As an LGBTQ Christian, part of me felt like I shouldn’t be or that I wasn’t allowed to be there simply based on the fact of my attraction to the same sex. My mind kept going back to the sign that said I was going to hell, and I couldn’t help but worry that people were judging me.
After I came out in 2023, I wanted to find an affirming church. A place where I could feel that I truly belonged and was accepted. I reached out to several churches to ask about their beliefs on LGBTQ individuals and same-sex marriage. The overwhelming response that I received was that LGBTQ people were always welcomed at the church and loved by God. Great news! However, they also stated that they believed the Bible clearly defines marriage as being between a man and a woman. That part, not so great. I get it though, I know what the Bible says. But, it still left me feeling anxious and confused. I heard that I am welcomed and loved as I am, but if I married a woman would I no longer be? Would I have to suppress or deny that part of myself in order to be accepted? Again, part of me felt like I didn’t belong. Like I couldn’t have a place in God’s church or with His people.
LGBTQ individuals are constantly faced with messages that who we are is inherently bad, wrong, shameful, unnatural, gross, or any other similar adjective you can think of. As if we actively chose to be this way. I am well aware that life would be much easier if I was attracted to the opposite sex like society says I should be. If I were “normal” and “natural.” In fact, I’m pretty sure most LBGTQ people, if not all, have wished or tried to “pray away the gay” to some extent at one point in their lives. I definitely have-many many times. And yet, here we are, despite our best efforts, prayers, and pleas with God, still attracted to the same sex. So now what?
LGBTQ Statistics
If society and/or the church are going to continue to hold and teach specific beliefs and laws toward LGBTQ individuals and same-sex marriage, it must also be aware of some important, yet extremely alarming facts:
“One-third (33%) of LGBTQ people had shifted from the Christian or other organized religious affiliation they had during childhood to become atheist, agnostic, or nonreligious as adults.” – The Williams Institute
“Suicide risk was three to six times greater for lesbian, gay, and bisexual adults than for heterosexual adults across every age group and race/ethnicity category.” (Their age groups were 18-24, 25-34, and 35-64). – The NIH
LGBTQ high school students were about three times more likely to seriously consider suicide, make a plan for suicide, and attempt suicide than their cisgender and heterosexual peers. – The CDC
“39% of LGBTQ+ young people seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year.” In the age range of 13-17, 46% considered suicide and 16% attempted suicide. Compared to the age range of 18-24, where 33% considered suicide and 8% attempted suicide. – The Trevor Project
“Nearly half (49%) of LGBTQ+ young people ages 13-17 experienced bullying in the past year, and those who did reported significantly higher rates attempting suicide.” – The Trevor Project
The Trevor Project website states, “LGBTQ+ young people are not inherently prone to higher suicide risk because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. Rather, they are placed at higher risk because of how they are mistreated and stigmatized in society.”
The messages and beliefs that society holds about LGBTQ individuals are killing them. Whether it be physically, mentally, emotionally, and/or spiritually. These harmful views are literally killing them. Many who once believed in God no longer do. His children He created in His image are desiring to, attempting to, and/or succeeding in taking their own lives. Some being actual children, only 13-17 years old. They would rather die, than to continue living as the person God created them to be. That is a tragedy! It’s heartbreaking and enraging. That alone should be enough to reconsider what is believed and taught about LGBTQ people.
If it’s not enough, in my reading of the Bible, conversations with God, and guidance from the Holy Spirit, I’d like to discuss some other thoughts to consider.
The Bible Debate in Acts
In the book of Acts there is the great Jewish-Gentile controversy. Jewish Christian vs. Gentile Christian. Jewish Christians were considered “pure” because they were descendants of Abraham, God’s chosen people, the ones God gave the Mosaic Law to. Gentiles were considered “unclean” because they were not part of the covenant between God and Israel, and they did not adhere to those same laws.
But the gospel was spreading. When it spread to the Gentiles, they believed on the basis of faith alone, without following any of the laws. The Jewish Christians greatly disproved of this. They insisted that following the law was necessary to be saved. To be worthy. To belong. So a council was called to rule on the matter of whether or not the Gentiles had to keep the laws and traditions that Jewish Christians kept. This controversy threatened to separate the church.
As I read Acts 15, I felt many similarities between the ancient Jewish-Gentile controversy and the controversy of today. I’ll call it the Straight Christian-LGBTQ Christian controversy. This controversy too has already threatened to divide the church and Christians everywhere.
Acts 15 Revised 2025 Version
If Acts 15 were revised for a 2025 version, it would discuss the great Straight Christian-LGBTQ Christian controversy. In it, the straight Christians would be like the Jewish Christians – considered pure or natural because they follow the “law” of attraction and marriage. While, the LGBTQ Christians would be like the Gentiles – considered impure or unnatural. Whether it be because the Bible clearly states that homosexuality is an abomination (even though that’s a misinterpretation) or because some LGBTQ Christians believe differently from the “law” of marriage.
Part 1
In Acts 15, the Jewish Christians believed that Gentiles could be saved, but only if they followed all of the laws. Acts 15 begins by saying, “certain men came down from Judea and taught ‘Unless you are circumcised according to the custom of Moses, you cannot be saved.’” It continues on to say “The Pharisees who believed rose up, saying, ‘It is necessary to circumcise them, and to command them to keep the law of Moses.’” To some Jewish leaders, Gentiles could be saved only if they were circumcised and kept the laws. In essence, they needed to become Jews first. Only then would they be accepted and belong.
This would translate into the revised 2025 version of Acts 15 to state that straight Christians or religious leaders believe that LGBTQ Christians are accepted and saved, but demand they follow the law. This specific law being the “law” of marriage, which would be defined as marriage to the opposite sex. If not that, then celibacy is the only other option.
I put the word law in quotes because technically that is not a law of the Ten Commandments. Yes, it is discussed in the Bible; However, the only law in the Ten Commandments regarding marriage is to not commit adultery. It doesn’t command who can or cannot marry, only that once married, one should remain faithful. The Bible also talks about celibacy being a gift. When a disciple says it is better not to marry, Jesus responds, “All cannot accept this, but only those to whom it has been given.” Celibacy is given by God. It is not meant for all people. Nor is it something that can be imposed on LGBTQ Christians simply because we’re told we’re not allowed to marry the same sex, yet we do not have a desire for the opposite.
Part 2
Acts 15 continues in verses 8-10 when Peter argues, “God, who knows the heart, acknowledged them (the Gentiles) by giving them the Holy Spirit, just as He did to us, and made no distinction between us and them, purifying their hearts by faith. Now therefore, why do you test God by putting a yoke on the neck of the disciples which neither our fathers nor we were able to bear?”
Peter argues against the Jewish leaders to say that it is God who knows all hearts, and He has blessed the Gentiles with the Holy Spirit just as He did with the Jews. Peter then asks them why they question God by putting a yoke or a heavy burden on the Gentiles by forcing them to follow the Mosaic Law. A burden that they themselves could not live up to. Galatians 5:3 Paul says, “And I testify again to every man who becomes circumcised that he is a debtor to keep the whole law.” If you impose one law, then you must follow them all.
This is the next similarity that would translate into the revised 2025 version of Acts 15. It would argue that God knows the hearts of the LGBTQ children He created. And God has blessed them with the Holy Spirit just as He has done for His straight children. There is no distinction between the two. Therefore, since they also have the Holy Spirit within them, they too are accepted, guided, and comforted by God in His plans and desires for their lives. So then, why do straight Christians or religious leaders question God? Why do they place a yoke upon their neck? Why do they insist on imposing this weight upon LGBTQ Christians, when they themselves cannot keep the law either?
Acts 15:16-17 quotes an Old Testament passage that talks about restoring Israel and says, “I will set it up; so that the rest of mankind may seek the Lord, even all the Gentiles who are called by My name.” Gentiles were called by God. They were included in God’s plan. LGBTQ Christians are called by God. We are included in God’s plan.
Part 3
By the end of this debate, the church council comes to a compromise. Acts 15:19 states, “And so my judgement is that we should not make it difficult for the Gentiles who are turning to God. Instead, we should write and tell them to abstain from eating food offered to idols, from sexual immorality, from eating the meat of strangled animals, and from consuming blood.”
The council came to a middle ground and agreed that Gentiles did not have to be circumcised, but they should stay away from these four specific actions. These actions we particularly important to Jews because they were taught “every Sabbath for many generations (Acts 15:21).” This compromise was made to help the church continue to grow despite the cultural differences between the Jews and the Gentiles.
They decided that these four actions were more important than others. This decision was a compromise made by mere humans. Its says, “so my judgment is…” But we have no authority to make such a call. Also, some of these actions are specific to that ancient time. At least I don’t think people of today are consuming blood. I know we’re called not to judge one another, but if anyone still consumes blood, that’s disgusting.
Anyway, lucky for us Jesus has made His ultimate commandments clear. In the revised version of Acts, it would not have humans judgement as the final say, it would have Jesus’. It would declare, “We should not make it difficult for the LGBTQ Christians who are turning to God. Let us remind them what Jesus says:
‘Do you not perceive that whatever enters a man from outside cannot defile him, because it does not enter his heart but his stomach, and is eliminated, thus purifying all foods? What comes out of a man, that defiles a man. For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts…’ – Mark 7:19-21
‘If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love… This is My commandment: that you love one another as I have loved you.” – John 15:10-12 This command is reiterated throughout Scripture. Romans 13:10, says, “Love does no wrong to others, so love fulfills the requirements of God’s law.’”
What’s in your heart is what matters.
And love completes the whole law. That’s it. Just love. Nothing more, nothing less.
Side Notes
The use of “sexual immorality” in Acts 15:19 can of course lead readers back to homosexuality as being sexually immoral. However, that’s only if the reader takes the Bible’s use of the word homosexuality at face value. If it were studied, one would discover that the Bible is not referring to a loving committed same-sex relationship LGBTQ individuals are seeking today. It is talking about acts of that specific time, which included things such as cult prostitution, sex rites in idol worship, orgies, and married men having sexual relations with young boys.
Discussion of that topic requires a whole separate post. If you’re open to hearing such a study and interpretation of those specific passages, may I suggest the book Unclobber by Colby Martin.
It seems homosexuality is often focused on as the “big” sin for sexual immorality. But sexual immorality also includes acts such as incest, fornication, lust, and adultery among many others, which apply to all Christians. Yet, both society and the church tend to emphasize such a “law,” placing a heavy burden solely on LGBTQ Christians. Again, when it is not a law included in the Ten Commandments. And to impose or require the following of one law must mean for all to obey all laws. That is not possible for any human to achieve.
I am by no means suggesting to ignore or dismiss what God says in the Bible. However, we cannot pick and choose which laws to follow and which to not. Which to give more importance to and which to give less to. To do so would be unjust and contrary to God’s grace and mercy. I am simply suggesting we also consider other ideas, lessons, and perspectives from the Bible, especially in such a vital matter as this. The lives of God’s own children are at stake.
Jesus Gives Life
“I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” – John 10:10
“He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted… to set at liberty those who are oppressed.” – Luke 4:18
“For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” – Matthew 11:30
Jesus brings life and freedom. The yoke He places upon His children is light and easy.
However, that is not what many LGBTQ individuals are experiencing. Thoughts, desires, plans, and actions to end their own life are far from a life more abundantly. Nor is it healing of their brokenheartedness. Nor freedom. Nor an easy yoke to bear. It is so heavy that they prefer death over life. This is still the reality for many LGBTQ Christians as well, despite their belief and faith in God.
I had an uncle who identified with the LGBTQ community. He was the best, one of my favorite uncles. He was so goofy and gave the best hugs. His spirit was strong, and his love for God and for those around him was undeniable. When I came out, he supported me and told me how much he loved me. But he also said, “I’m converting to Judaism. There’s more acceptance for people like us.”
Seven months later, he passed away unexpectedly. My uncle struggled with many things, like all humans do, but I can’t help but wonder, if he didn’t have to carry this “yoke”- the burden of reconciling his sexuality with his faith-would he still be here, on this side of heaven. If he could have felt the true unconditional love not only from God, but also from His church and His people. If he felt he truly belonged. If he felt completely accepted. Would he still be here? Would I have gotten more time with him?
I’ve wrestled with my sexuality since I was in middle school, and I’ve believed in God even before then. Yet, it hasn’t been until now, at 32 years old, 2 decades later, that I have finally been able to experience and receive the true love and acceptance of Jesus. Where I can accept myself and my sexuality, and still believe that I am worthy and deserving of His love.
For a long time I felt unworthy, full of shame, and like God couldn’t possibly love me or be pleased with me. It was emphasized time and time again that homosexuality was the worst of the worst. The more I prayed and tried to get behind the “law” of marriage for the sake of my faith, the darker and heavier my heart and soul felt. It became so burdensome, that I too had thoughts and desires to no longer be alive.
In that darkness, my lowest point, I fully surrendered my heart and my sexuality to God. If I were to have these desires, yet still be with a man, so be it. If I were to have these desires, and be with a woman still honoring God, so be it. If these desires were to be taken from me completely, so be it. Whatever God wanted to do with me, let it be so. I just wanted to be free from the pain and the burden that was consuming me.
Since then He continuously reveals to me that His ways are higher than my ways. That when He says all things are possible with Him, He means ALL things. I used to believe that only meant freedom from attraction to the same sex. If I had enough God and enough faith, then He’d take away this attraction. But He revealed to me that there are more possibilities than just that one. That it also means with Him at the center, a faithful and committed same-sex relationship is possible. He is always the most important part.
He has also revealed to me that He created me like this on purpose, and that He has a plan to use it. To share His love and grace with the LGBTQ children He created. To let them know that God’s promises apply to them as well. That they truly belong and are completely accepted, regardless of any messages they may receive from society or the church. For that reason-because when I was ready to give up, I put everything in God’s hands and he showed up for me-I can honestly say it’s only by His grace that I still get to be here, on this side of heaven.
LGBTQ friend, you belong and are accepted. You are completely and unconditionally loved by the Creator of the universe. So stay here a little while longer.
For Additional Reading:
Ten Bible Passages That Teach a Christian Perspective on Homosexuality
Read more about me and my faith journey
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