I saw a reel on Instagram recently that said “5 Things Jesus Never Said.” It started with “Jesus never said “follow your heart.” Then, proceeded to say what the Bible does say about the heart, which is “the heart is deceitful.” It went on to say that Jesus also never said “be true to yourself,” “believe in yourself” or “live your truth.” 

Whoever made this reel is correct in that Jesus never said those things specifically. However, he/she may not have realized that by putting it that way, one can imply that since Jesus never said those things, then you must not do any of them. You mustn’t follow your heart, be true to yourself, believe in yourself, or live your truth. I’m sure the creator had good intentions in sharing about God and what the Bible says, but it struck something within me.

It may have been unintentional, but again, an underlying message that can be implied from that reel is that one is not to have any love, confidence, or connection in regards to themselves. You must basically abandon yourself for God. Would Jesus really say/imply those things? I know Jesus says in order to follow Him we must deny ourselves, take up our cross, and follow Him. Is abandoning and denying ourselves one in the same? Is that what God really wants from us? Am I interpreting it wrong? Or maybe it’s just frustrating to me because it’s revealing a deeper hurt within myself? I felt a need to write it all out in order to process my thoughts, so here we go:

The Lesson of Jeremiah 17:9

I want to focus on the part of the reel that said not to follow your heart. It references Jeremiah 17:9 which says “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked.” I remember this verse being taught and shared with me over and over as a young girl. The people who shared it with me were people of faith who were older and wiser than I. I’m sure they had good intentions as well; however, they implied the same thing as the reel. The Bible says that the heart is deceitful; therefore, you cannot trust it. Since they were older and wiser, or so I thought, I believed they must know what they’re talking about, right?

In learning that my heart is deceitful and not to trust it, I also learned to detach and disconnect from it, from myself. Add in some extra little spice that I discovered later that I was attracted to the same-sex, and that really added some intensity to the lesson. Being attracted to the same-sex proved to me that they were right. My heart was definitely and without a doubt bad and deceitful since the Bible clearly states that homosexuality is an abomination. I learned then that this place (myself, my heart, my body) was not a safe place to be. Which unfortunately as many same-sex attracted Christians experience, led to thoughts about why I was even alive in the first place? But that’s a story for another time.

Anyways, the main point I took away from this lesson was that I cannot be trusted, my heart cannot be trusted, so no matter what, do not follow it. But if I cannot trust myself, then who or what do I trust? I’m sure they told me to trust God, but what does that even mean when you’re young and new in your faith? What I learned to do instead was to trust the people who taught me this lesson. Religious leaders. The church. Those around me. I learned to trust them instead of myself. Trust what they told me to do, to think, and to feel. As long as I followed them, did what they said, did what the Bible said, then God would be happy with me and all would be well.

Enter in the damaging effects of codependency in religion. I believed that if I behaved and followed the “rules,” then I was good. However, if I didn’t, then the wrath of God was coming down on me. Regarding my sexuality I felt fear, shame, disgust, and unworthiness. I was sure God was constantly displeased with me for that. So, I tried to suppress it in the hope that God and His people would accept, approve, and love me. However, Jesus never said any of those things either. He never said to trust other people’s thoughts and beliefs. In fact, he warned about trusting religious leaders. He said “Follow ME.”

I believe the damage that this lesson does to a very pliable young heart and mind is extremely profound for two reasons. One reason being the disconnection from yourself, your authenticity, and the real person that God created you to be. If you’re like me, you will wake up one day and feel like you have no idea who you are. People will ask you what you want and what you need, but you’ll have no answer because you detached from and left that person a long time ago. The other reason being that as a result, you will be unable to connect with, to truly know, and to experience the overwhelming and unexplainable presence and character of a loving God.

Now at 32, decades after I learned this very painful lesson, I am working to unlearn it. While at the same time, learning to reconnect to the me that God created, and that I can trust my heart because that is the very place that God lives in me.

What Else Does The Bible Say?

In this lesson, only Jeremiah 17:9 is shared. However, we simply cannot single out one part of a verse when we’re trying to understand its meaning. We must also look at the verses surrounding it. What about the context? Let’s also consider all the other things the bible says about the heart. This verse goes on to say in Jeremiah 17:10 “Who can really know it? But I, the LORD, search all hearts and examine secret motives. I give all people their due rewards according to what their actions deserve.” As if to say the heart is deceitful because we cannot fully know and understand it in our humanness.

Luke 16:15 says  “God knows your hearts.” Now, the rest of this passage is Jesus talking to the Pharisees saying “You are those who justify yourselves before men, but God knows your hearts.” The Pharisees and religious leaders acted outwardly that they loved God, so their followers believed that they did. However, their hearts were really hardened, and full of greed, hypocrisy, and condemnation.

1 Corinthians 13:1-3 describes multiple acts that one could perceive as being a true lover and follower of God. Such as the gift of prophecy or giving everything you own to the poor. However, it also says that if you do such things, but do not have love then you have nothing. 

So, who then can really know the heart? People cannot see inside the depths of another’s heart. We see actions. However, we cannot always or completely understand the hearts and intentions of another human being. Do they do good for the right reasons or do they have “ulterior motives”? Seeing the work of religious people, or people with the gift of prophecy or giving to the poor, one could believe that they are people full of faith in God. However, people and their actions, just like the Pharisees, can be deceiving. The same is true for ourselves as well. Who would be able to tell? “I, the LORD.” God sees and searches all hearts. He knows what’s truly in our hearts.

Could that be what this passage is really talking about? Whatever is in our hearts, good or bad, secret motives or not, only God can know, examine, and reward accordingly. Not that the heart is deceitful and we should not follow it. Instead, that only God can truly understand what comes from it. 

A New Lesson About The Heart

What does the Bible say about the heart? About us?

Psalm 139: 13-14: You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb.

Psalm 37:4 – “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

Proverbs 4:20-23: “Listen carefully to my words. Don’t lose sight of them. Let them penetrate deep into your heart… Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.”

Ephesians 3:16-17 – “I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then, Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him.”

He made the inner parts of our bodies and knit us together. He Himself made our hearts. 

He places desires in our hearts and wants to give us those desires.

We must protect our hearts.

He makes His home in our hearts. 

How then does it make sense to be taught so firmly that the heart is deceitful and we mustn’t follow it? In my process of healing, God has revealed to me that I can and I must in fact trust and follow my heart because He made it, and it’s the very place He lives within me. He revealed to me that I can also be true to and believe in myself because again He made me and knit me together! God created me in the way that He wanted me, and placed skills, talents and desires in me. He lives within me, and is constantly revealing and speaking His truth to me through my heart, my mind, and my spirit. If that is true for me, then it is also true for you.

I’m still working to reconnect to myself, to trust myself and my own thoughts and feelings. I am learning that I can and I must follow my heart because that is how I am connected with God. That seems like such a simple lesson to me now. So simple that I’m not sure how I believed otherwise. It has definitely been a challenging journey, especially as a Christian being attracted to the same sex.

But God is faithful and His steadfast love endures forever. Thank God He continuously reveals Himself to me and speaks to me through my heart. Thank God He has helped me to trust my heart. Now that I am able to trust my heart, I am able to follow Him more fully. I am able to hear Him say to me that He made me the way He wanted me, in His image, on purpose, and He loves and accepts me just as I am right now. If you listen to your heart, you will hear Him say the same things to you.

I don’t have any children, but if I did, I wouldn’t want my daughter to be taught the lesson of Jeremiah 17:9. I would want her to be taught and told that God made her in His image. That her heart is the exact place where God lives within her and where He speaks to her. He created her heart and placed special talents and desires within that heart. The unique plan that He created for her life exists in her heart. She must follow her heart in order to fulfill that plan, in order to follow God.

God lives in our hearts. If we disconnect from that, we’ll disconnect from God.

Trust your heart. Follow it. Don’t ever abandon or turn your back on it. 

For Additional Reading:

Context Matters: The Heart is Deceitful Above All Things

Is The Heart Deceitful? Rethinking Jeremiah 17:9